Chaps vs. Assless Chaps

    

Main Entry: chaps

Pronunciation:

\ˈshaps, ˈchaps\

Function:

noun plural

Etymology:

modification of Mexican Spanish chaparreras

Date:

1844

: leather leggings joined by a belt or lacing, often having flared outer flaps, and worn over the trousers (as by western ranch hands)

Like a lot of things cowboy these days, the whole profession has been Broke Back Mountained from a very manly trade into a lot of gay jokes.  Nothing has been whipped harder then the trusty piece of attire that no cowboy goes without - chaps.

I hear a lot of people say "Assless  Chaps" without realizing that chaps don't actually have a bum part.  So basically the word "assless" is only used to make the statement more amusing or "shocking".  You could probably achieve the same effect through saying "Chaps made from dead orphan skin", although that particular detail would definitely make it different from regular chaps.

What I am trying to get across is that there really isn't anything called "Assless Chaps."  So if you want to say something funny, be creative and don't say something that is just plain redundant!

Apples vs. Oranges

"It's like comparing Apples to Oranges"

We have all heard this idiom and it's generally used when we are trying to compare things that we believe are incomparable. 

In fact, like many pioneers into studies that are obviously wastes of time and are done just for the sake of doing it, Scott A. Sandford of NASA Ames Research Center actually took the time to do a scientific comparison.  His research concluded:

"[...] the comparing apples and oranges defense should no longer be considered valid. This is a somewhat startling revelation. It can be anticipated to have a dramatic effect on the strategies used in arguments and discussions in the future." (quote taken from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Apples_and_oranges)

The truth of the matter seems to be that Apples and Oranges are compared on a regular basis.  Like many things they are more similar then different and the one thing that I found surprising while doing my crack research for this "Comparing Things" was that aside from people reveling in drawing pictures that depicted Apples and Oranges, it seemed as if we as a species really just enjoy pissing on the establishment and thumbing our noses at all sorts of idioms.

(image from http://shirts-by-eye.blogspot.com/2007/01/apples-oranges.html)

IM Grammar vs. Bad Grammer

 

Defined by Merriam-Websters dictionary:

gram·mar

Pronunciation:

\ˈgra-mər\

Function:

noun

1 a: the study of the classes of words, their inflections, and their functions and relations in the sentence b: a study of what is to be preferred and what avoided in inflection and syntax2 a: the characteristic system of inflections and syntax of a language b: a system of rules that defines the grammatical structure of a language3 a: a grammar textbook b: speech or writing evaluated according to its conformity to grammatical rules4: the principles or rules of an art, science, or technique grammar of the theater> ; also : a set of such principles or rules

— gram·mar·i·an \grə-ˈmer-ē-ən\ noun

Today we rarely use these rules to form well thought out sentences to communicate with each other.  Mostly it's fractured ideas, run on tangents, and with the invention of the internet, a more widely used set of acronyms.

I remember in the 80's with the show Murphy Brown the letters FYI.  And I wondered what that was.  Not until later did I start using it instead of saying, "for your information," and I thought i was so cool!  And then 90's ushered in a new world to me as I learned to sprinkle the word "like" and "um" into all my like, um, sentences... you know!

A few years followed and I entered the digital age with all my nerdy compatriots as we charted the unexplored realm of Al Gore's self proclaimed backyard - or as we know it today, the internet.  Intrepid were we, taking our pencil and paper D & D characters and posting them on our BBS's.  And thus was my first exposure to IM (instant messaging) shorthand.

With the explosion of ICQ and AIM, MSN messenger and iChat we see more and more people being exposed to all the ROTFLOL's and what's worse is that it's leaking into our spoken language.  A few nights ago I was thinking about this blog and I actually heard a girl yell at her friend "LOL" and I thought that it would have probably be easier to actually laugh then to communicate it that way.  Toss in some bad grammar and we form ideas and thoughts that would not be understood by any generations then those exposed to computers and more importantly, the internet.

For the direction of language today, as long as the other person can understand what you are saying it doesn't really matter how poor your grammar is.  The art of communicating will always be changing, and I am not a conservative, I just keep "WTF" to the interweb and "FUCK OFF" to the people who deserve it the most - assholes that say "OMG" and "LOL" out loud.

Comparing Things

This blog is to compare those things that we use, see and in some pleasurable instances, do.  So join me as I use my trusty digital camera and lots of photoshop to "COMPARE THINGS!"